Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
