I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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