That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
