WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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