Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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