There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the day after is always just damage control
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i've created a new STD.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
