I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
