wrigley field is MILF paradise
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
