Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
