Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Swine flu. Run for my life!

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(901): View more from Tennessee

How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?

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(903): View more from Texas

Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.

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(360): View more from Washington

Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis

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(941): View more from Florida

My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.

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(613): View more from Ontario

So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground

Fav 3 118 147
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