I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
