Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
