Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
