You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How does one acquire holy water?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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