I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize