He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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