im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
