chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
