Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
