All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
