SEEEEXXX PLEASE
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
