Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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