pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can't put those talents on a resume
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
