dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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