that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
