Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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