med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize