Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
