And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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