Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish life had little blips of pornography
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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