I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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