READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
