Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
