Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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