1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
