Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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