he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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