the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
