It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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