How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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