Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't turn off my feet"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
