theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
