I got chris browned last night
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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