My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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