I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
