I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
