I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
