I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
