so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize