i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
