so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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