i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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