do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
