i wish my penis had a tongue
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
