Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
