I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
