Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
