Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
