She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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