Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
