I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
