1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
