zippers are such a cool invention
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So here I am, sexting at work.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
