Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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