Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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