i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize