if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
